Importance of funeral rites

The Asian identity – largely conservative and superstitious. People tend to shun away the topic of death as it often carries a negative and inauspicious superstition, in fear that talking about such taboo issues would invite bad luck. In a similar vein, just as how important it is to avoid taboo topics in fear of sweeping away “luck”, giving the deceased a proper send-off is of equal or as much importance. Why are funeral rites important?

1. Traditions and religious beliefs – Honouring ones roots and on the premise that a send-off in a particular fashion would ensure that the deceased can have a smooth sailing and blessed afterlife
2. Closure – A chapter of closure for the bereaved family – A ceremonial setting where loved ones pay their last respects and offer their condolences are times for the grieving family to better come to fact that their loved one has passed on while gaining solace from others. Some may also say funeral rites are a way of the living “making up” to the dead, for a part of what they were unable to do whilst the deceased was still alive

Living in a cosmopolitan urban jungle like Singapore, it is no surprise that the country is rich in traditions and culture. Unique to each race is its own culture and traditions which makes each unique. Singapore is also a city-state known for its rich religious diversity – to name a few such as the likes of Taoism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity and not forgetting Buddhism. These differences in spiritual beliefs and the offering practices of each race thus makes the planning and execution of funeral rites in Singapore vastly different, with each of these unique groups adopting various funeral practices

Christianity

Fundamental belief: The Christian faith revolves around a belief in heaven, hell and purgatory. Where a person’s soul will end up is determined by how they act throughout their life. The faith holds a strong belief that the dead would be going to a better place – to unite with the Father in heaven. Most of the Christian funerals are practiced to celebrate life with the hope that the family will be reunited again with the departing soul in heaven afterlife on earth

Typical and common funeral rites:

1. The service is usually carried out at a church, crematorium or cemetery and will include prayers, a sermon, readings, hymns and sometimes music or poems
2. Typically, an eulogy is also delivered by a loved one to reminisce the times spent with the deceased
3. The pastor usually shares a word from the bible and engages the present in prayers to send off the dead while offering comfort and support for mourners

Catholicism

• In a Catholic funeral, the family traditionally holds a wake for the deceased person for 3 to 7 days to allow other family and relatives to come and pay their last respect before interment. It is a customary tradition and belief that the wake should last for 3, 5, or 7 days. An odd number is significant for grief for the Chinese-Catholic.
• Visitors will be given a red thread that they can wear around the finger. After leaving the wake, visitors will let the red thread slip off the finger before they reach their house.
• Funeral wake is often held at the family’s home or residence or at the void decks and funeral homes. A white tentage identifies Catholic funerals. Family, relatives, and friends are expected to bring or send Catholic funeral flowers to say their condolences.

Buddhism

• Buddhist monks are expected to perform chanting on the wake and on the last night of the funeral wake. Aside from the white Buddhist funeral flowers, family, relatives, and friends may also bring food and fruit offerings for the deceased. Other common and traditional funeral necessities are joss sticks, joss stick urn, lotus candles, joss paper sandalwood, and sandalwood powder.
• At the wake, a bucket of water containing fresh flowers is prepared to be used for cleansing. It has been believed that the water can cleanse away negativity brought by the funeral to the visitors. Red thread is also used to ensure safety and protection from evil spirits.
• Visitors are required to wear white t-shirts as mourning clothes on the day of funerals. Family and friends are carried back and forth by a rented vehicle on the way to the crematorium.

Taoism

• The most common trends in Taoist funerals include the funeral rites being performed by the Taoist Priest.
• In a Taoist funeral wake, the funeral director is assigned to provide all the necessary funeral services because the family of the deceased person is beset by grief and sorrow. There may be various Taoist denominations with different rites and rituals for the funerals, there are also some common funeral rites.
• Based on traditions and belief, the funeral wake lasts for 3, 5, or 7 days. An altar is set up with a lamp on top to signify sacredness and immortality. There are 2 large candles on the table together with some cups filled with tea, water, and rice. They also have 5 plates of fruits to signify the 5 elements. In the center of the table, an incense burner is set up.
• The best Taoist funeral flowers, on the other hand, are the white and yellow flowers of Chrysanthemums and Lilies.

Islam

• The rites are followed in accordance with their religious laws or commonly known as Syariah. It is important and traditional for them to handle the body with the utmost care.
• Part of the Islamic traditional funeral rituals is the washing and shrouding of the body of the deceased person. This procedure is called a ghusl. According to Muslim law and religion, this procedure is done by the family member or by someone of the same gender. The body is washed with water three times to ensure that the body is clean. This is followed by kafan, the shrouding of the body. It is the wrapping of the body in plain white cloth coated with camphor, non-alcoholic perfume, and sandalwood powder. This is not just a ritual but a significance of dignity and privacy of the deceased person.
• The next part of the Islamic funeral rituals is the funeral prayer. The congregation performs the prayer for the deceased person, and this is called jenazah. The funeral traditions of jenazah should be performed at home of the family or at their mosque. It is led by Imam while facing Qiblat or the direction of Mecca. An immediate family gets Muslim funeral flowers.
• The last part of the funeral rituals is the burial. In Islamic burial, the body is placed in a coffin and brought to the cemetery. To bury the body, it is gently lowered in the grave without the coffin. The body is facing Qiblat. The grave is, then, covered fully with soil. To end the funeral rituals, a funeral sermon is said at the grave.

Hinduism

• Depending on sects and sub-sects, the Hinduism funeral rituals vary in practices and procedures. It is a tradition for the people in Hindu faith to die at home surrounded by the family. A prayer vigil is performed until the time of death. Hindu mourners use Hindu funeral flowers to adorn the body and to prepare for the cremation.
• In Hindu funeral traditions, the body of the deceased person remains at home for 24 hours, and after this, cremation is performed. They scatter the ashes on water. It could be a sacred body of water or one that is important and significant to the deceased person.
• At the funeral wake, mourners wear an appropriate dress, and the chief mourner leads them. White clothes are appropriate and black is not accepted. Visitors are expected to attend the special funeral ceremony 10 days after to liberate and free the soul of the deceased person. They can bring fruits to the ceremony.

Sikhism

• The Sikh beliefs on death and funeral are distinct. They believe that the soul never dies but reunited to their God, Waheguru the Wondrous Giver of Knowledge.
• In Antam Sanskaar, the Sikh funeral, the funeral ceremony is focused on the celebration of life, not on loss, as the soul reunites with Waheguru.
• Immediately after the death, Sikh funeral traditions begin by bathing the body and dressing it in clean, decent clothes. If the deceased person is Amrithdhari Sikh, the Kakaars or the articles of Sikh faith worn by the person should not be taken off from the body.
• The family may opt for an open casket to allow family and relatives to see the person before the burial. The family may also have the body surrounded and adorned with Sikh funeral flowers.
• Funeral rites and traditions in these ethnic groups are strictly adhered to and followed in order to bring rest and peace to the soul of the deceased person. These rites are expected to be observed carefully up to the last detail no matter the religion, beliefs, and ethnicity the family belongs. Respect is given to the deceased person, as well as to the bereaved family.

Visitation

At the visitation (also called a “viewing” or “wake”) the embalmed body of the deceased person (or decedent) is placed on display in the coffin (also called a casket). At the viewing, the friends and relations greet the more distant
relatives and friends of the deceased in a social gathering with little in the way of ritual. The viewing often takes place on one or two evenings before the funeral.

The only prescribed aspects of this gathering are that frequently the attendees sign a book kept by the deceased’s survivors to record who attended and that the attendees are expected to view the deceased’s body in the
coffin. In addition, a family may choose to display photographs taken of the deceased person during his/her life (often, formal portraits with other family members and candid pictures to show “happy times”), prized possessions and other items representing his/her hobbies and/or accomplishments.

“Interesting Facts” / “Did you know”

Unlucky numbers

Some numbers are lucky; eight is one of them, and eighth-floor apartments in China have been known to fetch a higher market price accordingly. But the number four is considered unlucky because it sounds a lot like the word for “death,” and as a result Chinese buildings often lack a fourth floor (just as American buildings sometimes skip the 13th).

In Chinese culture, the reason behind the superstition surrounding the number 4 lies in the way it sounds. The word for the number 4 sounds much like the word for death. The same is true for many other Asian cultures, which share a number of linguistic similarities.

Avoid unlucky number 13

From Friday the 13th to the number of the Beast to the unlucky number four, digit-related superstitions are aplenty. Whether you have triskaidekaphobia or just want to play things safe, you tend to find yourself avoiding all things 13. Around the world including Singapore, the double-digit is synonymous with bad luck, which is one of the reasons many companies such as hotels use another way of numbering or labelling to avoid the number. Many people also hesitate at the idea of staying on the 13th floor. The number four, on the other hand, is considered unlucky as it sounds a lot like “death” in Mandarin.

In Chinese beliefs, even numbers are associated with auspicious events and items. As funeral is not considered an auspicious event, a wake is held over an odd number of days, such as 3, 5 or 7. Condolence donations, commonly known as pek kim, or bai jin, are also given in odd configurations. A minimum sum of $30 is quite commonly the minimum amount to be offered in Singapore. More can be donated depending on a visitor’s financial situation and degree of closeness to the family. These donations are called bai jin because they are offered to the family in white envelopes and are typically used to help the family offset funereal expenses as these affairs are costly

What to wear?

You have to dress modestly so that you will not disrespect the family of the deceased and their feelings. When you are trying to finalize your funeral dress and considering what to wear you basically want to be respectful and modest towards the family of the deceased.

Below are some of the tips that will help you to finalize your outfit for such an occasion:

• Try to wear dull colors. Doesn’t always mean to wear black but try not to wear spunky colors or those salmon colored khakis that you have. Try to wear something neutral like dark green, white or grey.
• Try to wear simple accessories. If you want to wear accessories then try to keep them simple. You can wear stud earnings or some pearl accessories but try to keep them minimal.
• Your patterns should be simple. If you want to wear dress or a shirt with patterns try your maximum that it is subdued.
• Don’t choose something that is too casual. Don’t wear something casual like jeans and t-shirts. But if you want to wear business casual that is acceptable.
• Avoid fun or festive attires. There are times when the families of the deceased like to celebrate the life of the dead person on their wake if that is the case then you can wear festive clothes. Otherwise, always try to avoid colorful and festive clothes. As it may be perceived as disrespectful by the aggrieved family.

Burial or Cremation?

In Singapore, 82% of all deaths are cremated. 73% are cremated at government-owned Mandai Crematorium and 9% at privately owned crematoria (Kong Meng San Phor Kark See Monastery and Tse Toh Aum Temple).

On average, a sea burial costs about $100 without any ritual to over $1,000 for a more elaborate ceremony. Do note that there is no current option to conduct a sea burial from land; you have to rent a boat to conduct the sea burial. A sea burial facility in Tanah Merah is being built, with a boardwalk that extends into the sea to allow for the scattering of ashes.

Funeral Venues

Given that most of the population live in HDB, most funerals are held in HDB void decks. Venue rentals are not typically included in funeral packages. You or your funeral director will need to obtain the required permits from the relevant authorities. For wakes held in open spaces where tentages need to be set up, the tentage charges are not included in typical funeral packages. Your funeral director can advise you further on the charges and service providers.

HDB Void Deck

You will need to get a permit from your Town Council and contact them to secure booking dates for the funeral.

To submit an application, you must be:

• over 21 years old
• a relative of the deceased
• a HDB resident of the Town Council that you’re applying to.

If it is a public holiday or after working hours, you can call your Town Council’s Essential Maintenance Service Unit (EMSU) 24-hour hotline for assistance.

The Town Council will advise you on the:

• available HDB common spaces nearest to your block of residence
• charges for utilities (i.e. water and electricity)

Go to your town council’s office the next working day to get the permit and make payment. Bring along your NRIC, the death certificate and cash/NETS/credit card to make payment.

HDB provides temporary parking for bereaved family members so that you can park your vehicle nearby. You can apply this at any HDB Branch/Service Centre.

Private Apartment Grounds:

You will need to get permission from the condo management. This is highly dependent on your condo management and facilities. An alternative is using state land near your apartment (see below).

Landed Property

You can also hold the funeral wake in your own house. If you need to use part of the road outside your landed property, or any public roads for a funeral procession, you may need to get a permit from the Singapore Police Force (SPF).
If you need to use the state land near your property for the funeral wake, you will have to apply for a Temporary Occupation Licence (TOL) from the Singapore Land Authority (SLA). Booking charges will apply, depending on the amount of land space you need.

Funeral Parlour

While the packages for funeral parlours are more expensive upfront, the advantage is that the location is secure at night and you need not stay overnight. Not only do you minimise the physical and emotional toil of staying overnight at the wake, you also avoid the additional charges of having a night “watchman” to oversee the wake at night if the family is unable to do so.

Local myths and superstitions every Singaporean should know

The mourning and rituals are performed up to 100 days after the day of the death. It is believed that the soul of the deceased visits his house on the 7th day after his death. On the 7th day, it is necessary that all the family members should be at home in their rooms and there should be powder at the entrance of the room. To end the mourning period a prayer ceremony is held after the 100 days of the death. The mourning is prayers are kept for 100 days as it is considered that in this time the soul of the deceased is reborn as another human.

Rituals and Rites

In Chinese societies, the rites and rituals at the funeral are taken very seriously and these customs have an important value in Chinese culture. It is believed that if the customs are not followed or the arrangements were not according to the standards of Chinese traditions than this may lead to inviting bad luck for the family members of the deceased. The incomplete arrangement can bring disaster to the deceased house where his family members are living. In Chinese, it is considered that the elder person should not show respect to the younger person and because of this believe if a young person has died than his parents will not offer his rituals and his body will not be brought home and will be left in the funeral parlor and if the person was unmarried than he is unblessed because he has no child to do rites. If a newborn baby dies, then there are no funerals rites are performed because of this custom that elder should not respect the younger.
If an elder person of the family dies, then it is essential to arrange the funeral according to the customs and traditions and best should be tried to show respect to his in his last rites. The rites of the elder should be performed in a well-arranged manner even if the family cannot afford it or even, they go into debt to pay for them.

The family member of the deceased should not get married for a minimum of 100 days after his death as it will be bad for the relation and for the life of the groom and the bride and this condition for the children of the deceased is of 6 months or more. An envelope is given to the family members of the deceased and it is necessary that the money in the envelope should be in odd numbers and the amount should not be less than 101 Chinese yuan. A joss paper is burned by the family of the deceased to show blessing and ensure the ease for the soul. The joss paper is burned to present this as money to the soul of the deceased

Visitation

In traditional Chinese wakes, family members would keep all-night vigils by the coffin, and visitors could play mahjong with the family to keep themselves occupied. Today, funeral parlours offer lock-up security, and families do not see the need to engage in this practice strictly. It is a good idea to call the family and check what are the visiting hours before popping by too late or too early.

Before you leave

Visitors will be offered little red packets containing coins and a piece of red thread when they leave. Visitors bring these with them as they leave the funeral, but are expected to spend the money and throw the string away for a safe journey home. Today, some wakes do not offer coins in red packets, but only the red threads. The intention is still the same.

Condolences Flowers

Condolences flowers are normally sent during the wake. For funerals in Singapore, it is essential to observe the sending of appropriate condolences flowers. The safest and most widely accepted are condolences wreaths to symbolise the eternity of life

Flower colours relating to death

Flowers help create an environment filled with peace and solemnity as well as comfort to the mourning famoly. It is important to choose the right type of flowers with the right colours. Different flower colours offer different meanings and symbolism depending on the tradition, beliefs and religion.

White

The traditional colour of flowers for funerals are white. It symbolizes deep emptions and sentiments for those who grieve over the death of their loved ones. White funeral flowers symbolizes innocence, honour, purity and spirituality. Most common types of white flowers and Peace Lily, rose, carnations and orchids

Yellow

Yellow flowers are also a grat option. In the modern generation, there is nothing wrong with yellow flowers. Yellow is a symbol of respect and gratitude as well as beauty and strength. It has the ability to uplift moods, soothe the pained soul and adds brightness to a tribute. This is mostly for people who have strong friendships with the deceased.

Pink

Pink flower arrangements are a perfect choice is the funeral service is intended for a female. Pink is a symbol of grace, beauty and feminity. Roses, carnations, lilies and orchids are a great choice in conveying condlences to the family.

Flower types

Lilies

As one of the most popular floral choices for funerals, lilies represent the restored innocence of the soul of the departed.

Carnations

White carnations convey pure love and innocence; red carnations represent admiration; and pink carnations stand for remembrance.

Chrysanthemums

In many European cultures, chrysanthemums are only used as funeral flowers as they are symbolic of death. In the US, chrysanthemums represent truth and are typically regarded as a cheerful way to honor someone who lived a full life.

Roses

This highly popular flower carries different meanings depending on the color; White roses express reverence, innocence and youthfulness; Red roses convey respect, love and courage; Pink roses signify love, grace and gentility; Crimson roses denote grief and sorrow; and yellow represents friendship.

Orchids

Pink and white are traditional orchid colors used to express one’s sympathy and typically represent eternal love. Phalaenopsis and dendrobium orchids are generally the most appropriate types of orchids used as sympathy flowers.

Now that you know the meaning of some of the most popular funeral flowers, you can incorporate them in your arrangements. The tradition of adorning the casket with fresh flowers (called a casket spray) is typically selected by the closest family members – spouse, children, siblings, parents, etc. They are beautiful displays of one or several types of flowers and greens that sit on top of the casket. Full casket sprays are suitable for closed caskets, while half casket sprays are used for open casket services. Casket inserts and garlands are other types of floral designs that are selected by the immediate family.